erniefreeman's Blog

Join me as I co-host the 13th annual Stone Awards at the fabulous New Daisy Theatre on Beale Street, in Memphis, Tn., Saturday October 11th at 7pm.   The Stone Awards honors business, community and political leaders you probably know, as well as the best in local entertainment.  I am doubly proud to be hosting and to be nominated in the "Broadcaster of the Year" category.  Others from Fox-13 who I'm told are nominated are evening anchor Mearl Purvis (past winner), and morning anchor Darcy Thomas.  Dee Griffin from channel 24, and Alex Coleman from channel 3 are also nominated.  Good luck guys.  Local, national and international celebrities have been spotted at the red carpet portion of the day long event, which starts at 2pm.  The Actual Awards show doesn't get underway until 7pm.  Then there's the after party at ten.  So, plan your Saturday.  During the awards portion of this event, you will witness one of the best local productions of a theatrical skit in The Run Away Man Goes to Copa Cabanna.  There will be a musical tribute to the great Cab Calloway. 
There are only 13 awards categories, so the evening will move along quickly.  Amazingly, there are a few tickets still available.  You can get them at Eel Etc. right across from the New Daisy at 333 Beale.  Call them at 522-9291.  Or Mike's Dry Cleaning at 1667 E. Raines Rd.  Call them at 398-8172. 
Tickets are $20 for the awards show only....$35 for the show and the after party.  We had a blast last year!  For more info, go to www.stoneawards.org
Come out and recognize some of the stones in our community, who serve as the foundation for what this city and this region will become.
p.s. If I don't win a Stone Award, it will have been nice to have been nominated.  And then, I will demand a recount.  See you Saturday.

A recent New York Times article has delivered me from that perplexing period, usually a few confused seconds, when I deliver what I think is a funny one liner, a stinger of a zinger, only to have someone say, "you're mean."  Mean?  That was sarcasm.  It was a funny, a joke.  Not mean.  Not meant to be mean.  Not mean.  Here's the big relief for me; The Times article says there is a portion of the brain that gives people the ability to perceive sarcasm.  And apparently, not everybody has it.  Who knew?  Not me.  So the next time I refer to the slim ball who put his baby in the microwave and actully turned it on as a "father of the year candidate" I'm actually going to have to appreciate that some folks actually think that I think the guy is a father of the year candidate. 

Not to bore you with the medical details of the study the Times article was based on, but it basically identifies the right parahippocampal gyrus as an area of the brain must be involved in detecting sarcasm.  This is significant because, apparently, the left side of the brain processes language.   

So the next time I drop an S bomb and someone says, "you're mean,"  would I be wrong if I said, "you need to have your head examined."

Before Jennifer Lopez made junk in the trunk a must have, and before Beyonce made curvy curves bootylicious, there was Thelma of Good Times.  If you ever watched Good Times, you know who Bern Nadette Stanis is.  How could you ever forget.  And if you don't know, you better ask somebody.  Anyway, my very first television crush was supposed to appear on Good Morning Memphis this morning.  We had to re-schedule.  She will appear on the program tomorrow (Tuesday) instead.  She's promoting a new book about relationships.  It's entitled Situations 101.  After reading a few pages, I can tell you it appears to be an easy read, filled with humor.  You can find out more about the book and about Ms. Stanis at www.thelmaofgoodtimes.com  .  I never thought I would actually blush when I met someone.  I think I did. 

The worst feeling in the world is......

I had one of those moments this morning, when I had to go to the restroom and my zipper got stuck. 

I would imagine the guy who gets the MLGW cutoff notice and his last unemployment check on the same mail run in the middle of February would be another of thos moments. 

Share.

What is it with folks like me who have to have their food scalding hot?  I think I got it from my uncle Robert, who once told me he couldn't drink coffee, "unless it was burning my lips."  For all those years I drank coffee, it had to be scalding.  The same with soups.  The same with gravy.  The same with pizza.  Which brings me to this weekend.

I'm warming up the frozen pizza (not delivery) at four hundred degrees for twenty five minutes.  I click on the oven light to see if the crust is rising and browning.  It is.   It's almost ready.  Plopping it on the kitchen counter, I can see the steam rising from this pie like it does those sewer covers in the garment district in Manhattan.  This meat lover's concoction is ready to be gobbled up.

Within seconds of dividing it evenly into eight sections with my pizza cutter,  I'm jamming it into my pie-hole, with the bubbling tomato sauce singeing patches of that think layer in the roof of my mouth.  At once, embracing and denying the oral trauma, I chomp down on that slice like it's a cool freshly sliced melon.  Not the best idea.  Three more slices later, and the interior mouth damage is pretty complete.

The next morning (Monday) I can barely chew my cereal.  The skim milk isn't really working as a soothing agent.  My mouth is all jacked up.  Eating is no fun.  I'm having a hard time here.  Tuesday is a little better, but I can tell I ate something hot over the weekend.  The mouth wounds are starting to heal.  'Who does this to themselves other than me and my uncle," I'm thinking.

"My goodness, that lean pocket burned my tongue, I think I lost a taste bud," exclaimed Valerie Calhoun, after a trip to the microwave.  What is it with us and too hot food?

 

What would life be withouth coffee in the morning?  I'm about to find out.  Beginning Friday, I am going to attempt to end my daily caffeine intake.  The central nervous system stimulant that gives us that morning "charge" is highly addictive, can cause stomach ulcers and has no nutritional value.  And that says nothing about the brown stains on the teeth and the coffee breath.  Breaking free from caffeine can cause sleepiness, irratability and other withdrawal symptoms.  Early bets at the station say I will fail miserably in my effort to go caffeine free.  But enough about what Valerie Calhoun says.  Wish me luck.  And if you have any ideas, suggestions or guidance that might help me kick the caffeine habit, I would love to hear from you. 

Don't you wish there was a real "Easy Button" to clean up things in your life when life gets a little tough?  Careful what you wish for.

On Saturday, I was compelled to clean out my oven.  After all, it had been several months since I had cleaned the thing.  Okay, I had never cleaned the thing.  And  with mac and cheese and Digorno Pizza residue on the bottom of the oven, it would "smoke up" everytime I baked some of my tasty chicken.  A couple of my friends told me this particular General Electric oven has an Auto Self Clean option.  Easy Button.  Sounds good.  So, I hit the button and the cleaning started.

And then the fire started.  Apparently some of the footd particles in the oven caught fire.  And the flame grew in intensity and size.  Seeing this, I went into panic mode and tried to open the oven door so that I could put out the flame.  Well, when the oven is in auto self clean mode, it automatically locks.  I could not open the door.  Black smoke is seeping through one of the stove top eyes.  I'm thinking 'this is poisonous stuff and it's going to kill me.'  At this point, I want a do over.  I want to clean this oven, by hand, with the lysol and the 409 all purpose cleaner.  I don't want that easy button.  I want to do it the old fashioned way.  Please don't burn down my house.

Within a few moments, the flame was out, and the oven was doing its' self cleaning thing, and I was out of the house, hoping it would be standing when I came back from the post office.  It was.  And I had grown even more cynical about the easy button approach to solving life's problems.  But I know how to work that auto self clean feature now.

On Saturday January 26th, Emmy awards will be handed out to Fox 13 and the other Memphis television stations.  You may have heard Fox-13 has been nominated for 21 Emmy awards, more than the other three stations combined.  We are all proud of the nominations and excited about the ceremony which will be held in Nashville.  If you would like to watch the awards show, you can do it right from your computer.  There will be a live video stream at:

http://www.streamernet.com/emmy/

The stream starts at 8:00pm on the 26th.

Fox-13 is nominated in some of the top categories.

Good Morning Memphis is nominated for best daytime newscast. (Yayyyy!)

Fox-13 news is also nominated for its' Weekend Newscast, and for the second

year in a row, Fox-13 is nominated in the most prestigious category of them all, News Excellence.   

Wish us luck.

Between December 1st and a week or so before Christmas, I became a wayward poor excuse of the man I had been just a few days prior.  Eight hours of sleep was mandatory and it was happening.  The fruit and ruffage filled diet was a reality.  The fitness regimen unfolding like clockwork; lifting and running on a regular.  Spending was under control, and was going to remain under control, because this was going to be a no gift exchange holiday season.  Then the wheels came off.

As of today, I haven't been to the gym in a month, and the prospect of me returning this week...not good.  There's a chance, but I wouldn't bet on it.  Then, around Christmas, my fiscal compass went haywire.  Bought a new computer, a new dining room set and a sectional couch.  Now, I'm thinking of adding a new wall mounted plasma television.  No, I've decided to add a new wall mounted plasma television.  Honestly, I don't even know what plasma means.

Diet.  Are you kidding me?  I've been eating football food, and nothing else for a solid month.  I bought two bags of salad three weeks ago, and both bags are still in the fridge.  I'm still getting the sleep though because that football food is knocking me out, right on that new sectional couch. 

Who am I?

Our friends at the American Dialect Society have voted "subprime" the word of the year for 2007.  The much anticipated announcement came Friday at the Hilton in Chicago.  I couldn't make the annual gathering this year because of a going away party in midtown Friday night.  Did you make it?  Subprime is and adjective used to describe a risky or less than ideal loan, mortgage, or investment. Thanks for the definition ADS, but we know what subprime means in Memphis.

Subprime beat out some good words and phrases like "surge" and "connectile dysfunction", the inability to gain or maintain a connection.  Are we talking computers or relationships with that one? 

In a sub-category "toe-tapper" was voted the most outrageous word.  Toe-tapper is that reference to  Republican U.S. Senator Larry Craig, who was arrested in June for an encounter in a public restroom in which toe-tapping was said to have been used as a sexual come-on.  That's sub something.  One of the favorites of my "shot calling" friends is "make it rain", the dropping of lots of paper money on a crowd of people, especially in strip clubs.  This phrase didn't win the most outrageous, but when put to use, it can be life changing, just ask suspended Tennessee Titan Pac-Man Jones.  

This vote got me thinking about some other words and phrases we've celebrated, panned and expanded their meanings, like "target rich environment."  Remember the first Gulf War?  That was supposed to be about enemy targets, not lots of single girls at the nightclub or bar.  Or perhaps lots of single guys, if you're a girl, or into toe-tapping...not that there's anything...

Anywho, I guess we can start using subprime for things other than exploding adjustable rate mortgage references.  If the University of Memphis Men's Basketball team loses a game in Conference USA this season, that would be subprime.  My efforts to see my family in 2007...definitely subprime.  My family's efforts to see me since I left for college...SUBPRIME! 

Thanks to the 1993 word of the year by the ADS, you're reading this blog...that was "information super highway."  In 2000 the group's word of the year was a word we hope never to hear again, especially this year, with folks running for president and all..."chad."  

Hey guys, sorry I missed the meeting this year.  I'll try to make it next year.

Founded in 1889, the American Dialect Society is dedicated to the study of the English language in North America.  Members include linguists, lexicographers, etymologists, grammarians, historians, researchers, writers, authors, editors, professors, university students, and independent scholars.

One of my favorite phrases is "it is what it is." Now, thanks to the word police at Lake Superior State University in Michigan, I can't use that phrase in 2008. The school's annual list of words banished from the Queen's English for mis-use, over-use or general uselessness, contains my favorite phrase. To that I ask, are you kidding me? That one didn't make it, thankfully. If you've ever talked to me and tried to tie a conclusive bow on a particular topic by saying something like, "that's really good news for them," you've probably heard me say, "it is what it is." "That's a big win." "It is what it is." Someone in the AP article about this banned list said my signature phrase is phonetically and thematically redundant. God, I wish I could say "it is what it is" right now. With this development, my first challenge of 2008 will be trying to figure out a way to get through a casual conversation with members of my family, my friends and my co-workers. You might be in the same predicament. A couple of other words or phrases you might use made the list. "Back in the day" is out. I hear that one all the time. "Sweet" is gone. University of Memphis Basketball Coach John Calipari has been known to drop an "under the bus" reference. Coach Cal, you're going to need to come up with something else. Under the bus is out the window for 2008. There are a few phrases I'd like to submit for consideration to the folks up in Michigan. Those of us here in the midsouth often hear these phrases from government types. Here they are, in no particular order..."blue crush", "feasability study", "blue ribbon panel", and "subprime mortgages." And then there's one I'd like to see banned, and made a felony if sportscasters ever use it again when referencing teams that play professional football..."physical football team." Now if ever there was a thematically redundant phrase, it's physical football team.
There are a couple of other phrases I would like to hear a lot more of this year, especially if the phrases aren't directed toward me..."tap, tap, tap", and "array of evil." The folks in Michigan probably won't be banning either of these phrases. It's a midsouth thing, they wouldn't understand. Freeman, out.

Since I started the Good Morning Memphis shift, I've gotten used to watching some of the Fox primetime shows like House, 24, K-Ville and American Idol.  But with this writer's strike, and figuring out how to use the digital video recording device on the remote control, I've been sampling some good shows on the other networks.  But, by far, my favorite is Dirty Sexy Money.  Have you seen this thing?  The Darlings.  It's awesome baby.  I'm not sure how many hours my DVR can hold, but I must be close to the limit these days.  I'm recording Good Morning Memphis (5-9amm Monday-Friday, Fox-13), reruns of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Football games, Dirty Sexy Money, old Seinfelds, and various movies on HBO, Boxing After Dark, and all kinds of stuff.  Hopefully this strike doesn't last much longer and we can get some new original programs.  Is it me, or is television getting really good lately?  Are you ready for Sarah Conner?  I am.  How'd that Bionic Woman thing do?  Haven't seen that one.  What else is hot?  Oh, next month.  Idol is back baby!  Yeah.  I have it on good authority too.  Memphis will be represented in Hollywood, and you will be shocked.  There's only one show that can make me forget about Dirty Sexy Money, and that's Idol.  I need more DVR space.

Each year the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences nominates local television stations for regional Emmy awards.  This weekend the stations in our region will find out who many, if any, Emmy nominations they've received.  Last year Good Morning Memphis was nominated for two Emmy awards.  We did not win, but it was nice to be nominated.  Monday morning, we will be announcing, hopefully, at least a couple more nominations.  So, tune in Monday and see what the break down looks like.  We'll also announce how many nominations the other stations picked up.  So, we're all a little excited about that in local television land this weekend.  Keep your fingers crossed, and we will see you dark and early Monday on Good Morning Memphis, which starts at 5 in the morning.

You know what I'm talking about.  Those contradictory terms combined as one, like JUMBO SHRIMP.  Come on, make up your mind.

DEAFENING SILENCE....Are you kidding me?

MILITARY INTELLIGENCE....Ouch!

BAD BEER.    Okay, maybe that's a stretch, but not when the football game is one.  That is an oxymoron.

 

Got any?

 

A friend watched me make breakfast this weekend and commented about how hot the food was, as if it should not be hot.  It was grits, eggs and bacon.  When I make this dish (my favorite of all time, by the way) I time the cooking of all the elements, so that I put it all on the plate while it's steaming hot and I can begin eating immediately.  I know some "room temperature" people when it comes to eating hot foods.  They don't mind, and often prefer eating food at room temperature.  Is it a boy versus thing?  Are you a hot food hot person?  Talk to me.