erniefreeman's Blog

NFL training camps open in two weeks and two days.  This should not be interpreted as evidence that I am counting the days or anything.  Jets open camp on July 16th, Giants on July 25th.  Most other people open during that week after the Jets open.

     Every television in the United States has a promotions department.  This department consists of people who produce "commercials" for the television station and, promote the station in the community through various events, sponsorships, and the like.  The promotions department is like the public relations department of a corporation.  Fox-13, right here in Memphis, has one of the best promtions in the United States...if not the best.

     The latest proof of this comes from the preeminent marketing and promotion organization in the world....Promax.  Winning a Promax Gold award is the promotions industry equivalent of winning the Academy Award in motion pictures.  Fox-13 recently won a gold Promax award for the campaign, "What does New York know about Memphis television? "  You may have seen some of these promos on television with me in New York City asking folks there about Memphis news.  The point of the campaign was people in New York don't watch morning newscasts that originate out of Memphis, so why should Memphis news viewers watch morning newscasts that originate out of New York, like the Today Show, and Good Morning America.

   The "spot", as they call it in the industry, also won a Promax Silver in the Information Program Spot category. It was nominated for Information Program Campaign as well.

     Fox-13 is the smallest market station in the country to win at Promax this year. No other television station in the mid south has won a Promax award in the last 5 years.  Promo Manager David Stotts, Creative Director Paul Sloan and Art Director Vanessa Ezernieks have combined to win twenty seven Promax awards in that same amount of time.  Two words for the Fox-13 promotions department: You Rock!

     This is the eighth television station I've worked for in my career.  For me, the question isn't whether this promotions department is the best in the United States, it's whether it's the best in the world.

     If you haven't seen the "spot", I've inserted a link below.  If you have, take another look.  It's funny as heck.

    

http://www.myfoxmemphis.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;js
essionid=5F1C0159A53EFE390871CCEAC97A1F65?contentId=382
7037&version=4&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.
1&sflg=1

     These local sports people kill me.  Every year they try to convince us that the local pro basketball team doesn't have a high enough pick in the draft to select a star that will make the Grizzlies better next year.  Memo to the local sports people.  Wake up and smell the history of the NBA draft.  That's the first point.  The second point is if you're looking for a quick fix turn around scenario, that's more likely to happen with a blockbuster trade.  See the Boston Celtics.
     To the first point of the fifth pick being too low and too late for the Grizzlies.  The Philadelphia squad selected Thaddeus Young with the 12th pick in 2007.  He's a starter and a future star.  Grizzlies went with Conley.
     Not much going on after the fifth selection in 2006, unless you count Brandon Roy with the sixth pick.  He's doing just fine in Portland.  49th pick Leon Powe seemed to be working out for Boston in game two of the finals the other night.  And Daniel Gibson, LeBron's sidekick in Cleveland seems like a good pick with the 42nd overall selection in 2006.
     2005 saw Monta Ellis go with the 40th pick to Golden State.  He's a future all star.
     2004 was much the same, highlighted by Luol Deng going with the seventh pick and Andre Iguodala going with the ninth pick.
     2003 saw Dwyane Wade go with the fifth pick, David West with the 18th and Memphis select Kendrick Perkins with the 27th.  But that was part of a trade that brought Dahntay Jones to Memphis.  How did that work out? 
     Okay, last one.  In 2003, Memphis had the 4th pick, but passed on Amare Stoudemire, who went ninth.  And in the second round, Cleveland took Carlos Boozer.  A couple of big guys who are doing okay in the NBA. 
     The issue isn't the fifth pick is horrible.  The issue is whether the Grizzlies front office has the ability to find the guy who will be a star.  History suggests they don't.  And for the sports guys who keep telling us that selecting fifth is like being sentenced to torture by waterboarding, I say shut up.

A recent New York Times article has delivered me from that perplexing period, usually a few confused seconds, when I deliver what I think is a funny one liner, a stinger of a zinger, only to have someone say, "you're mean."  Mean?  That was sarcasm.  It was a funny, a joke.  Not mean.  Not meant to be mean.  Not mean.  Here's the big relief for me; The Times article says there is a portion of the brain that gives people the ability to perceive sarcasm.  And apparently, not everybody has it.  Who knew?  Not me.  So the next time I refer to the slim ball who put his baby in the microwave and actully turned it on as a "father of the year candidate" I'm actually going to have to appreciate that some folks actually think that I think the guy is a father of the year candidate. 

Not to bore you with the medical details of the study the Times article was based on, but it basically identifies the right parahippocampal gyrus as an area of the brain must be involved in detecting sarcasm.  This is significant because, apparently, the left side of the brain processes language.   

So the next time I drop an S bomb and someone says, "you're mean,"  would I be wrong if I said, "you need to have your head examined."

Before Jennifer Lopez made junk in the trunk a must have, and before Beyonce made curvy curves bootylicious, there was Thelma of Good Times.  If you ever watched Good Times, you know who Bern Nadette Stanis is.  How could you ever forget.  And if you don't know, you better ask somebody.  Anyway, my very first television crush was supposed to appear on Good Morning Memphis this morning.  We had to re-schedule.  She will appear on the program tomorrow (Tuesday) instead.  She's promoting a new book about relationships.  It's entitled Situations 101.  After reading a few pages, I can tell you it appears to be an easy read, filled with humor.  You can find out more about the book and about Ms. Stanis at www.thelmaofgoodtimes.com  .  I never thought I would actually blush when I met someone.  I think I did. 

The worst feeling in the world is......

I had one of those moments this morning, when I had to go to the restroom and my zipper got stuck. 

I would imagine the guy who gets the MLGW cutoff notice and his last unemployment check on the same mail run in the middle of February would be another of thos moments. 

Share.

You already know the bad news about the price of gas: It's higher.  And, if you have the same car you had in 2004, it's actually costing you double to fill it up.  That's right, in 2004 gas was two bucks a gallon.  In a couple of days it's going to be four bucks a gallon.  More bad news; it looks like prices will continue to rise because of supply and demand issues (we keep using more, OPEC doesn't produce more) and investors are onboard for a wild bubble ride to make some quick cash.  Think housing bubble.  The only difference here is when this bubble pops, it will be a good thing for the averag Joe.  That fact probably guarantees $200 a barrel crude oil prices in the next couple of years and $10/gallon gas.  Let's hope not.

So, what's the good news?  Many, if not most of us, can still afford to drive our cars and get where we're going without filing for bankruptcy or taking out a loan.  Most people I talk to about gas usage say they fill up once a week.  For me that's $60 each week, $240 each month.  That's $120 more per month compared to 2004 when gas was $2/gallon.  So the question is, do you have $120 (or whatever your difference is) in your budger that you can use for gas?  I do.  It's in the entertainment section of my budget.  Yours might be there too.  It might be in the shopping section of your budget.  Maybe it's in your "pampering" alottment.  You know, hair, nails, spa, personal trainer.

 In a three day period this month, I went to Bahama Breeze twice, King Buscuit once and Vibes once.  These are all establishments along Germantown Parkway in Cordova.  I spent $152.53.  That would more than cover the additional $120 a month it's costing me for gas.  So, with gas prices on the rise, it's decision time for me.  Something's gotta go.  Looks like it's going to be Vibes (they tried to charge me cover last time anyway...but I digress).  While I'm at it, let's just eat in more and hang out less.  You with me on that?

Pulling back on the entertainment is just one wat we can save on gas.  Another is more efficient use of our gas.  I don't know about you, but I will make four trips in one day, running errands, when I could have completed those errands in one trip.  So, next week, I might make the post office, bank, cleaners, grocery store run all on the same trip.  Every gallon counts.

Every dollar counts too, and we have to think about all the ways we can save a buck.  I guess it's the old needs/wants analysis.  HBO ($15), gone.  Thinking about chopping the high speed internet, and saving $60/month.  I could reduce my plan with the wireless company and save a few bucks.

Please tell me I'm not the only knucklehead wasting his money on overrated nightclubs and using gas inefficiently.  If I'm not, there's the good news.  By making some adjustments in our spending habits, we can afford the higher gas prices.  At least for now.

It had been a little more than 18 months since I had even picked up a golf club, much less played a round of golf.  It was the weekend of October 8th, 2006 in Nashville.  I was playing in an annual tournament with some of my friends (their pictures are on this blog) and I was supposed to win.  Well, there was one guy in the field who could play with me.  The others were relatively new.  And one in particular, Leonard Raglin, from Atlanta, is a guy that I had beaten almost every single time we played.  It would be fair to say that I taught him the game.  He beat me by twenty strokes.  Have I ever mentioned I'm a sore loser.  I'm a sore loser.  I did the figurative equivalent of throwing my clubs into the lake after that round.  I put them in the trunk of my car and had not touched them until Saturday.  I smacked around a big bucket of balls at a local driving range.  So, I'm swinging again.  The impetus for this re-introduction to the clubs is a golf tournament I've agreed to participate in a couple of months from now in South Carolina.  My cousin is involved with a charity in Columbia, so she asked me to play.  So, I'll be there.  And there are no losers in a tournament to raise money for charity.

Right?

 

     There's an old comic who would deliver this line and the crowd would erupt in laughter.  In Memphis, you can replace wife with car, but here's the thing, it's not a joke.  Local law enforcement types are seizing automobiles from "johns" who solicit prostitutes (actually undercover cops) for sex.  The law enforcement types say this is allowed under Tennessee law.  I'm no lawyer, but if a guy can lose his car because he and another consenting adult want to do the nasty (and I do mean nasty) somebody needs to take another look at that law.

     I mean, come on...why stop at seizing the guy's car.  Why not just take his house.  Force him to pay his student loans again.  Put his kids into the foster care system and compel his wife to marry his best friend.  Hey, if you're just coming up with arbitrary punishments, why not get creative.  Put some real teeth into that seizure law.  Or, take a look at the U.S. Constitution.  Remember that document?

     It's the one with the Bill of Rights and the 14th Amendment.  There's that pesky Article Six thing that makes the U.S. Constitution the Supreme law of the land and pretty much says States can't just come up with all kinds of crazy laws that are in conflict with the supreme law of the land...to put it in coffee table speak. 

     Legal Eagles, feel free to weigh in on this one.

     The 5th Amendment says we cannot be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law.  Local law enforcement types say we'll see about that.

     The 4th Amendment protects us from unreasonable search and seizure.  Local law enforcement apparently feels it's quite reasonable to seize a man's car because he has no "game" and wants to pay for a good time.

     The 8th Amendment prohibits the government's use of excessive bail and cruel and unusual punishment.  Does a car for a "proposition" seem a bit unusual to you.  It does to me.

     I know local law enforcement types want to appear tough on crime.  We can appreciate that.  But is locking up "johns" and taking their keys the way to go?

     This tactic has been tried in other states and has failed to put a dent into "the world's oldest profession."  I'm told a similar law was put on the books in Nevada.  Yeah, how's that working out? 

Have you ever been watching the local news at five o'clock and the reporter promises to give you the rest of the story at nine or ten o'clock that night?  I've been a news junkie for as long as I can remember.  And as a newsroom insider, I understand why certain things happen during a newscast, while the average viewer might not quite understand.  But I have never quite understood the, "we'll have that part of the story tonight at ten."  What you're telling me is you don't have the complete story.  You've got to be kidding.  I go to bed at 7:30pm, 8:00pm if I'm living dangerously.  I will not be up at ten.  I won't see the rest of the story.  I want "that part of the story" NOW.  Don't tease me, please me!  I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

Have you experienced this frustration, or am I on an island here, like Tom Hanks in that movie?  Somebody tell me the name of that movie before ten tonight.

What is it with folks like me who have to have their food scalding hot?  I think I got it from my uncle Robert, who once told me he couldn't drink coffee, "unless it was burning my lips."  For all those years I drank coffee, it had to be scalding.  The same with soups.  The same with gravy.  The same with pizza.  Which brings me to this weekend.

I'm warming up the frozen pizza (not delivery) at four hundred degrees for twenty five minutes.  I click on the oven light to see if the crust is rising and browning.  It is.   It's almost ready.  Plopping it on the kitchen counter, I can see the steam rising from this pie like it does those sewer covers in the garment district in Manhattan.  This meat lover's concoction is ready to be gobbled up.

Within seconds of dividing it evenly into eight sections with my pizza cutter,  I'm jamming it into my pie-hole, with the bubbling tomato sauce singeing patches of that think layer in the roof of my mouth.  At once, embracing and denying the oral trauma, I chomp down on that slice like it's a cool freshly sliced melon.  Not the best idea.  Three more slices later, and the interior mouth damage is pretty complete.

The next morning (Monday) I can barely chew my cereal.  The skim milk isn't really working as a soothing agent.  My mouth is all jacked up.  Eating is no fun.  I'm having a hard time here.  Tuesday is a little better, but I can tell I ate something hot over the weekend.  The mouth wounds are starting to heal.  'Who does this to themselves other than me and my uncle," I'm thinking.

"My goodness, that lean pocket burned my tongue, I think I lost a taste bud," exclaimed Valerie Calhoun, after a trip to the microwave.  What is it with us and too hot food?

 

     First of all, we are here, in San Antonio, site of this year's Final Four.  But getting here wasn't easy, and I mean that quite literally.

     Thursday morning me, Matt Stark and Greg Gaston loaded up a Fox-13 vehicle and jumped on Interstate 40 bound for Little Rock.  Our travel folks had booked us a much cheaper flight out of Little Rock to San Antonio.  It was a connector flight, so we had to switch planes in, get this, Memphis.  That's right, our noon flight departed Little Rock and flew us back to Memphis.  I drove, and it wasn't a bad trip, unless you count the monsoon that poured on us the entire trip, and the apparent tornado that was in the vicinity while we drove.  The bad weather started causing delays in the region, so we were late leaving The Rock.  Our Memphis connection was delayed too.  But it wasn't delayed enough for us.  We missed the flight by five minutes.  Next flight to San Antonio...7:20 Thursday night.  Let me summarize for you: We left Memphis at 8am Thursday morning, but we were now being told that we would be leaving Memphis at 7:20 Thursday evening.  It was roughly 2:30, and we had some time on our hands.  We decided to spend it at the airport. 

     We eventually made it to San Antonio around 10pm Thursday.  What a long day.  We were supposed to file some reports for Fox-13 News at Nine Thursday, but with us still being in the air, we were unable to file those reports.  I did have some fun times with Stark and Gaston.  We talked a little sports and had couple sweet teas at Corky's in the airport.  I have pictures.  So glad we're here. 

What would life be withouth coffee in the morning?  I'm about to find out.  Beginning Friday, I am going to attempt to end my daily caffeine intake.  The central nervous system stimulant that gives us that morning "charge" is highly addictive, can cause stomach ulcers and has no nutritional value.  And that says nothing about the brown stains on the teeth and the coffee breath.  Breaking free from caffeine can cause sleepiness, irratability and other withdrawal symptoms.  Early bets at the station say I will fail miserably in my effort to go caffeine free.  But enough about what Valerie Calhoun says.  Wish me luck.  And if you have any ideas, suggestions or guidance that might help me kick the caffeine habit, I would love to hear from you. 

This Saturday night on tobacco road, it's NORTH CAROLINA invading cameron indoor to play duke.  It's GOOD versue evil.  My father, my uncles, aunts and cousins who, who still live in my native state, will cheer hard for the HEELS.  Those who cheer for duke, we'll temporarily excommunicate from the family on the gounds of mental defect.  This is big.  For me, this is the unofficial start of March Madness.  And I got one question for you.  WHO YOU GOT?

Life must be fun on planet Blue Crush.  Because only there can the Memphis Police Director say, with conviction, that crime is down in Memphis.  I first heard that head scratching comment in respoonse to an FBI report about Memphis being the most violent metro area in the United States.  Godwin's response that day was that crime is down and Blue Crush is working.  Is there water on planet Blue Crush?

Then, after the 2007 increase in homicides over 2006 in Memphis, Mr. Godwin said homicides were actually down in 2007.  No Mr. Godwin, they were not down.  They were up.  If a human kills a human on planet Blue Crush, do they call that a homicide?  We do here on planet earth.

And this week, Mr. Godwin said it's not the crime that's the problem in Memphis, it's the perception of crime that's the problem.  I can't help but snicker as I ask this question: Are there any signs of intelligent life on planet Blue Crush?