Theboxman's Blog

We have been feverously raising funds for our Presidential candidate Gabe Newman. Gabe has committed himself to foregoing federal election funds and raising money from the common man. Unfortunately the only fundraising skill Gabe has is an assorted collection of bar tricks and he is raising funds a dollar at a time.

Although our big fundraiser of auctioning off a Pong a Long Beer pong table did bring out some ardent supporters it still is not enough to air our first commercial. Thus we must increase our base of supporters, to do this we are opening campaign offices. Actually they are already open as we don't have money for office space, deposits for lights and phones, and staff is far beyond our reach we have designated a series of bars as our official campaign headquarters.

Gabe's office

Our national campaign headquarters is located at Allgood Lounge (www.allgoodlounge.com) in Athens, Ga. It is Gabe's favorite place as drunken girls, tiki bars, and leather furniture have a certain appeal to Gabe but everyone has their peccadillo.   Stop in for a drink and talk policy with Gabe in his executive suite with its rich leather chairs.  Sorry we could not splurge on the Corinthian leather.  Gabe has an open door policy; he also has an open bottle policy, if you bring him an open bottle of beer he will talk to you

Gabe has already opened a second campaign office serving Memphis, TN at the downtown location of The Flying Saucer.  It is a great location for his staff to share his vision for the future of the country or shoot pool and talk to the Beer Goddesses.

To be of better service to our supporter's office hours are from 5p to closing time. Nothing greases the wheels of democracy like a few beers at happy hour. I bet the cold war would have been avoided if everyone had just had a few drinks and talked about those damn missiles in Cuba. We are of course looking to open other campaign offices so if you have a favorite watering hole and are willing to be our onsite staff just let us know and we will send you are official Gabe Newman Campaign Headquarters Certificate for you to present to your favorite bar.

They just might give you a free beer for helping them receive this great honor. Plus your mom will be proud as we let all the newspapers and media in your town know that you have been named campaign chair for the Gabe's campaign in your community. So be part of the solution this election season, and if you can't do that at least have an excuse when the next president totally BLEEPs everything up even worse. Being intoxicated may not be an excuse in the eyes of the law but it is when it comes to who you voted for in the election.

Nominate your favorite bar, be named chairman of a political campaign, and see your name in print in the local paper. It is the all American ideal. You will be popular, wield power, and may have influence over the fate of the world. Ok, none of that may happen but it is sure to be a great bar story and may get people to buy you a drink. Send us your nominations for your local headquarters to streetpeople_at_gmail_dot_com.  Give us plenty of info about your bar does it have a website, a drink special, and most of all where is it located.

Of course opening all these offices does require cash so tell your friends to donate we have to buy beer of they will kick us out.  We like to refer to it as liquid rent. If you don't have any friends then you can give us a dollar and we will be your friends.  So buy a t-shirt, donate a dollar or two through paypal, and send us your nominations so your favorite bar can be an official Gabe Newman for President Campaign Headquarters

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