Theboxman's Blog

Presidential candidate Gabe Newman may not be the front runner this election year.  The Party which nominated him as their candidate, The Great American Party, may not count the most registered voters. Yet his campaign has been gaining attention amongst college students and disgruntled voters as he declares with irreverence that this election is not about the economy, oil, or advancing democracy around the globe but that public office is about serving his fellow citizen.

His grass roots campaign has used unique tactics to gain attention and engage people in political debate.  The campaigns most popular effort to date – opening campaign offices in bars.  The Great American Party has been sending campaign volunteers around the country to open offices in bars.  “We found that most people are detached from the political process knowing that they are only going to have an either or choice.” shared candidate Newman,” The Great American Party’s goal is to give people a chance to talk about their opinions and ideas about the future of the country without  the conversation  being about a political party.  We are confident that once people talk openly about their concerns they will see the need for the third party.  We engage them where they socialize and discuss their values and ideas - in their favorite bar.”

Gabe Newman’s style has won him and his party a growing number of loyal followers.   Most notably in a time when famous musicians such as Jackson Browne are publicly calling for candidates not to use their music  as theme songs for a campaign The Great American Party’s candidate was approached by a band offering to write a campaign song.  The underground sensation The Wet Knots based in Memphis, TN met candidate Newman’s campaign team at one of their campaign office openings in a bar.  Mott Blades, lead singer for the Wet Knots explained, “We were doing some small bar shows in preparation for our national tour to support our new record when we met the campaign team.  Gabe’s platform of don’t take this political campaign to seriously and his desire for elected officials to represent the common man resonated with us.”

It is that twisted view of society that binds us and hopefully will make you blow off a few minutes of your demanding work, turn your computer screen away from the opening in your cubical and surf over to Capture Memphis.  The Memphis newspaper, The Commercial Appeal, is asking for pictures that capture the local flavor of the town by having the public submit photos that will be bound into a book and sold.  We wanted to share our view of Memphis and submitted several pictures by The Boxman for their book.

In a summer of blockbuster movies the Oxford Film Festival and Yoknapatawpha Arts Council launched a movie series about independent films influenced by people from the South. The project ends Friday, August 8th at The Powerhouse in Oxford with not only a film but the director and writer of this month’s film appearing to promote local film making.

Tate Taylor, born in Jackson, MS and a graduate of the University of Mississppi, went beyond the request of event organizers to donate a screening of his new film “Pretty Ugly People” he agreed to come and introduce the film. Tate has turned his Mid-South roots into a recognized presence in film and television. He has appeared in major motion pictures from “Planet of the Apes” & “I Spy” to television series from “The Drew Carey Show” and the new Logo channel series “Sordid Lives” with Olivia Newton-John. He will appear prior to the screening of the movie to introduce the film he wrote and directed which includes an appearance by another Mid-Southern, William Sanderson. The film tells the story of a dying woman’s wish to reunite with six college friends and will be shown at the Powerhouse Community Arts center in Oxford as a fundraiser for the Oxford Film Festival and the Arts Council.

Melanie Addington with the Oxford Film Festival coordinated the summer film series and approached Taylor about screening his film in Oxford. “He was eager to be part of this project that gave people a chance to see films by new writers, directors and actors from the region. We are very excited to close out the summer series by having one of the directors introduce their movie.” The screening will be Friday, August 8th at 7:00p.m. at the Powerhouse Arts Center on University Avenue in Oxford. Admission is $5 and supports the Oxford Film Festival and the Yoknapatawpha Arts Council.

More information:  www.oxfordarts.com

Nothing says love like being featured in the pages of a magazine.  Street-people.com takes the jump to black and white ink after being contacted by Xploited Zine.  Read the press release, look for the issue, buy one to read and one to frame because I don't think it is going to happen again.  We did write two special stories that will appear in the magazine first, trust me they are great stories as we dug and spent a lot of time with some very smelly bums to secure these tales.

Press Release

Magazine story unveils secret “Code of the Road”

 (San Francisco, CA)  Xploited, a small handcrafted magazine, based in San Francisco discovered the perfect contributor for it’s new issue dealing with the topic of street people, the cult website Street-people.com.  The website has been cataloging stories of bums and panhandlers for over two years...  “We felt the website’s harsh view of street people would offer a unique perspective.” shared Xploited’s editor Kathleen Neves.  “We asked they contribute to our latest issue assuming we would get an irreverent story on a local bum.”  The Street-people.com team took the journalistic challenge instead creating a piece that unveils the secret life, society and rules of street people. The story to be featured in the new issue of Xploited details “The Code of the Road”, shares the 8 major rules and punishments bum’s live by.

Xploited magazine features a different topic each issue and solicits submissions from a variety of writers.  The upcoming issues focus on homelessness will feature pictures, stories and commentary by a variety of writers.  “We try to share how a topic impacts someone personally” added Ms. Neves “but we did not expect to receive a story that shows an entire second society with it’s own rules, terms and punishments exists.” referring to the submissions from Street-people.com.

Street-people.com bills itself as the online home for the homeless without the urine smell.  Social service agencies often refer to the site as in bad taste as the site’s gallery of street people and their stories are accompanied by belittling commentary.   It’s bad taste style of humor has garnered attention and devoted fans turning it into a cult website.  Street-people.com created two new stories for the magazine. The stories share the thoughts of Donald who guides the writers of Street-people.com through bum camps in the city while discussing different types of street people from hobos, panhandlers and nutters.  The second story shares the “Code of the Road” a common term used by street people as to how they treat each other, a bum golden rule.

 The issue is to be published June 2008 and can be purchased online by visiting xploitedproduction.com

                                                   
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Beer pong is the game played by the average college student today.  Gone is the required skill of bouncing a quarter into a shot glass;  In is the ability to bounce a ping pong ball into a red plastic cup on the opposite end of a ping pong table forcing your competitor to guzzle 12 oz of frosty goodness.  Gabe is much like Henry David Thoreau.  Where Thoreau wrote about his life at Walden Pond and man’s connection with nature to simply life, Gabe seeks to encourage people to simply life by chucking work and hanging out with friends all day in public celebrations of brotherhood; and sisterhood because Gabe really enjoys a room full of co-eds.  What better way to reach a group that understands this message that to talk with frat boys.  Gabe seeks to reach out to college students giving them lessons from his life lived over games of beer pong.

If you would like to support Gabe’s drive to the White House, or more accurately someone driving Gabe, because he does not drink and drive.  You can do so by giving a donation through our PayPal button, buying one of our “Need Money For Beer” shirts or bidding on the Pong-a-long table.  Vote with your heart or your desire to get a beer pong table. To make a bid on the beer pong table : http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPage
Name=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=110257286073

 That’s Presidential Material

Tired of Presidential politics? Obama and Hillary bumming you out? Then let's talk about a real bum – Gabe Newman. Gabe is a unique street person. Prior to winning our 2008 Street Person of the Year award he had a dream to rise above his condition of living in his late model American made car and be one of the most recognized men in America, live in a big mansion, have men fear his power and women desire him as he sets the tone of American culture. Gabe wanted to be our generation's Hugh Hefner. Recognizing that he needs a stepping stone to launch this campaign, he has agreed to use his media exposure as Street Person of the Year, for the good of our country, and run for President.

His thinking is based on all the other bums running for office... "Why not put a real bum in the White House?"  If you think about it (but not too hard, and preferably after you have had a beer or four) it all makes sense.

Gabe is unemployed.  Or, as he expresses it, he is pursuing his dream job; but it is not impacting his revenue streams in a manner that creates a slightly, positive cash flow. Thus, he ends up relying on the American system of social services, the generosity of the common man, and the free peanuts in bars to exist.

Yet, he has a plan to free America of this burden, and the burden of others like him. Elect Gabe Newman as President with your write in ballot this November!! Your tax dollars are paying for both the White House and Social programs that assist people like Gabe so why not put a street person in the White House, then you can save the budget dollars because he will be employed and have housing? I am pretty sure he can do just as good a job as President Bush.

To help make your choice even easier Gabe, has developed his own platform of issues and promises. Screw bogus stimulus packages that were proven not to work over 40 years ago, or Universal Health Care that will be squashed by the drug and insurance company lobbyists. Gabe has programs and promises that may not make you better off in four years, but are sure to distract you from how crappy everything is currently.

Here is Gabe's set of promises that he scrawled on a bar napkin and passed to me to share with you:

1. Hef & Gabe's birthdays will be named federal holidays by executive order. The German's get six weeks off a year and we all are blowing at least two days a year looking at stuff on MySpace at work anyway. 

2. Liven up those boring House meeting and debates by adding "The House Hotties" a cheerleading team comprised of one cheerleader from every state. Just like pages but in skimpy outfits and they will have their own calendar for sale the proceeds of which will help to erase the national debt. 

3. Beer & Gin added to the list of food staples and now tax free just like bread. Plus WIC coupons may now be used to purchase these items. 

 4. All newspapers must have a centerfold. English newspapers have the Page 3 girl (if you don't know about this journalistic soft-core porn check it out) and our papers have nothing creating a "Hot chick gap" that must be closed.

5. ESPN must be included with all cable and satellite TV packages free of charge. QVC and Home Shopping channels are banned or must share a channel with Telemundo. 

 6. Every man, woman and child in this great nation gets to BLEEP slap one of the following celebrities of their choice, one time: Tom Cruise, Any of the ladies on The View, Matt Lauer, Oprah, or any male performer that has ever appeared on American Idol.

7. People who drive with their hazard lights on or can't remember to turn off their turn signal are allowed to be run off the road by other drives and the offending driver has to pay to have any damage done to your car in the process of running them off the road to be repaired. 

8. No more mixing of two breeds of dogs and giving their offspring cute names like Puggles. They have a name for dogs like that and they are called Mutts.

 9. Congressional hearings into if Lindsey Lohan, Brittney Spears, and Jessica Simpson had boob jobs and why cute Kate Hudson has not. 

10. Barry Bonds record removed from the record books. 

11. National Health Care for everyone. Unfortunately it will consist of Gabe's mom coming to your house, feeling your forehead and saying "You don't have a fever. Go to school/work and you will feel better by lunch. 

12. National Job Program: 5 cent deposit on all water bottles, soda bottles, and beer bottles spurring people to pick up all that are thrown onto the side of the street and redeeming them for money. 

13. Education Program: Students attending schools of Massage (especially those that teach how to give a Happy Ending), Exotic Dancing, and Casino Worker Training are now eligible for Pell Grants because those guys in India are going to end up with all the computer and call center jobs and you can't export Happy Endings. 

To achieve these lofty goals our candidate needs your help. If Obama can raise $280 million on the internet and Hillary can loan herself $20 million, we hope you can spot Gabe a Dollar so we can launch a media blitz to announce Gabe's run for the presidency. This is not a donation, it has no tax deductible status, and there is no big operation behind all this except Gabe and The Boxman. We are trying to panhandle our way into The White House. So, hit the PayPal button and give us a dollar. Want to do more drop us an email at contact(at)street-people(dot)com  offering your services to promote our candidate.

The past twelve months have brought us into contact with a varied assortment of street people from the hustlers in New Orleans who descended on the city to mooch of the aid offered to the victims of the hurricane to the ones we discovered in North Carolina that are celebrated by an annual event on local college campuses. Although we found some unique street people, some who shared secret knowledge of the bum code of the road, only one street person stood out this year. What makes someone qualified to be street person of the year? Read, learn, and aspire because our 2008 Street Person has big dreams fueled by big bottles of whiskey.

Street people come in many different forms and are on the street for many different reasons. Street people and the homeless are not one in the same. Although many street people are homeless, as this year’s street person is, it is not always true. We met several street people this year that shared little hovels, lived in boiler rooms, or had elaborate camps in the wooded areas off residential neighborhoods. A street person is someone who has decided to chuck the rules of society that the majority of us follow to find their own path. The 2008 Street Person of the year is such a person. After working as a cubical slave forced to gasp for fresh air through a necktie and a heavily starched shirt collar he chucked it all and pursued a varied array of untraditional jobs including professional rodeo clown. Meet Gabe Newman our 2008 Street Person of the Year.

How is this clean cut, freshly washed guy, and good looking guy a street person? Simple. If you have ever lost a job because you came to work drunk and then decided the best thing to do was live in your car while you spend your days hitting on cute young waitresses in a bar while you complete your thesis on the effects of liquor on the unemployed you are a street person. A high class street person with really good taste but a street person none the less. It seems after chucking the corporate suit and tie culture Gabe took a job as a professional rodeo clown. A job that take balls as big as a bulls to do. It seem the organizers of one of the rodeos got upset with Gabe for showing up to work drunk and got him kicked out of the professional rodeo clown association. Gabe’s theory was that it was a requirement of the job to be drunk because why else would you get in the ring with a bull and taunt it until it chased you.

Gabe moved into his car and began a sabbatical which is a nice way of saying he had enough money to hang out at his favorite bar, sweet talk waitresses, and ponder the meaning of his life over quality whiskey. It was after several quality whiskeys while he stared at the pattern in the roof liner of his car as he was sprawled across the back bench seat that he had a vision. Gabe realized that someone needed to be in training to replace Hugh Hefner when he died. Gabe did not want to replace Hugh as the figure head of Playboy. Hugh has served as the image of sophisticated sex and lifestyle for a generation of men. When he passed someone was going to have to be the model by which our society measured manly sophistication. Gabe was just the man. A king in the corporate world – ok he held a job at one time. A daring and brave man – let’s see Richard Branson and his billions get in a ring with a bull. Sauvé with the ladies – no bar waitress was ever stiffed by Gabe, well on their tip we mean.

Thus, Gabe Newman needs one thing to start him on his way to being the next Hugh Hefner. A plan that will catapult him into the public eye and make the world envy him. You may be saying Gabe is a drunk, so what, President Bush was a drunk and a coke head and look what he has accomplished. Ok, maybe not a good example to draw but he did manage to steal an election all with the help of Jesus and a possible hidden bottle of whiskey. Gabe is not so cutthroat. He is willing to win the election by making a total mockery of the election process. In his first official act as 2008 Street Person of the Year he has offered to run for President. Based on the slogan of “Put a Real Bum in the White House” he plans to run as a write in candidate for the 2008 election. We have promised to help.

Gabe is willing to fire up his mobile presidential campaign car, the one he is living in, and visit any city, media outlet, or bar to raise awareness of the issues facing this great nation. That is if you can spot him the money to get there as it seems he has run through his small financial reserves, those double whiskeys get expensive. Check back often as along with more great stories about street people, bums and hustlers we will follow Gabe Newman’s candidacy for president.

Interested in supporting our candidate? Drop us a note. We will be putting together his official team of advisors, media representatives, and drinking buddies. If George Bush won 8 years ago because people felt he was a guy they could have a beer with, Gabe can win because he is the guy who would have 10 beers with you.

(Memphis) The celebration honoring Martin Luther King Jr. in Memphis this weekend attracted a diverse range of media from around the world. The most unexpected is Vancouver based, Agent Wood, a “reporter” for the Memphis base website Street-people.com. Agent Wood has been attending many of the activities associated with the MLK celebration, visiting the city’s tourist attractions, and filing reports on Memphis’ panhandling street people. “It is interesting to have an outsider report on how they see our city” commented one of the founders of Street-people.com .

The outsider looking in reports come just as the Center City Commission begins paid security patrols targeting aggressive panhandlers. Even with these new sweeps the reporter from Vancouver has been able to file a report daily, sometimes hourly, in her tour of Memphis. The first report featured the visitor’s first impressions of the city which included spotting several panhandlers that aggressively followed people into buildings seeking change while walking along the Main Street Mall and Beale Street. Successive days have included tours of the Mid-town, The National Civil Rights museum which was defined as inspiring, and a trip to the Memphis Zoo where the reporter was panhandled by an Orangutan. “I guess the primates are just mimicking what they see around them.” added the founders of the site. The reports have brought new readers to the site as the daily series has captured reader’s attention. “I think people want to know how an outsider might experience our city.”

 Agent Wood has never visited Memphis but felt the MLK events made a perfect opportunity. While researching her trip she discovered many of the blogs about the bluff city and was intrigued by the Mayor’s half resignation and the site which featured rambling stories about the variety of street people in the city. “She contacted us about how much she enjoyed the site and expressed how she would be coming to Memphis.” added the site’s creators. ‘We wanted someone who could validate that our jaded view of the street people in this city and others might actually have a point. Agent Wood has provided us with several insights into how tourists see the city.” Her reports will continue through Saturday, April 5, 2008.

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Adam Carolla the creator and host of "The Man Show" and "Crank Yankers" is running a contest to promote his new movie called "The Hammer".
We (the creators of street-people.com a website about street people that uses satire to raise awareness of the issue of homelessness) have been trying to get on Adam's radio show for the past year. We feel the cutting humor of our site fits his audience and would help to raise awareness of the issue.

We have sent free t-shirts with our "Need Money for Beer" logos to Adam Carolla, posted messages on his forum, called his voice mail, faxed his radio show, and sent him messages over myspace.

How to get his attention?  Use his own call for grass roots marketing against him!  Adam Carolla  is running a contest to promote his new movie: The Hammer. Grand Prize, a phone call from Adam.

We need your help - we hope by flooding his myspace page with posts from The Boxman's freinds and fans of http://www.street-people.com  we can win that phone call.  The Adam will be forced to listen to  The Boxman.

Hell if Danny Bonaduce could be on his radio show, we should be a no brainer! Read how to help at www. street-people. com or The Boxman's myspace page http://www. myspace. com/street_people

We hope you will post a message to his myspace telling him your heard about his movie from The Boxman & street-people.com so we can win that call and try to talk him into featuring us on his show.

Thanks in advance for the help. The contest ends this Saturday so if you feel the urge to help – don’t delay.

        De- bumming Memphis

Memphians are well versed in political speak and the Center City’s announcements about this program for panhandling are full of phrases that are going to be used in three months to cover the fact that $60,000 plus dollars will be spent with no real impact.

This test run is simply the Center City Commission protecting downtown during tourist season.  Tourism is big business in Memphis so we have to make sure the out of town visitors are not hustled so they will leave their hotels during conferences and spend money at the bars, restaurants and walking along the one sliver of redeveloped downtown.  Maybe it would have been worth $60,000 to help get customers to Peabody Place so every store in the place would not be shutting down and some jobs would be created for these downtown panhandlers.

The only thing everyone agrees on is that there is a difference between the homeless and street people.  Homeless are people who by some financial tragedy have lost their home.  Many Americans are now living paycheck to paycheck and one financial hardship such as an illness can cause them the loss of everything.  As a community we should be reaching out to these people and giving them a hand to get back on their feet. 

The street people are the hustlers and panhandlers who have figured out that they can make decent money hanging out in front restaurants, shops and businesses all over town asking people for change.  It is not just the aggressive ones which yell, spit and cuss.  It is the fact that at every cross street in this city someone asks you for change.

A security force hassling panhandlers is just going to push the panhandlers to a place where the security is not present, such as midtown.  Then in three months when the tourist money is gone the “test” will end and be shown not to be effective and nothing will be done.  The panhandlers will return and office workers will be hassled every morning, lunch time and on the way to after work drinks by the same panhandlers who return to claim their hustling territory.  Thanks Center City Commission – I used to know where the bums where so I could just avoid those areas now you are going to make them roving and I will have to be more alert.  Plus it is good to know that as a citizen I am less valuable than a tourist.  I guess I can stop coming to those downtown court square concerts, and watching the Definitely Downtown tv show as they must really be aimed at tourist and not me.

All this security force is going to do is create more expense for Memphis tax payers.  If the police do hand out a citation do we really think the panhandler is going to pay it?  Then after they have several citations the police will arrest them and they will sit in jail.  The police, courts, lawyers and jail all paid for by taxpayers will be burdened.  It would probably be cheap if each of us just gave a dollar to a panhandler a lived with the problem.

Spend the $60,000 on coordinating all the shelters, food kitchens and social programs to get the people that need help and want to get off the street into programs that offer long term assistance.  That would be the first step to reduce the panhandlers.  Then we would be left with the chronic street people – the panhandlers who have elected professional panhandling as a career, or those that are mentally impaired by illness or dependency.  I am sure it is this element which is causing the other problems of theft and petty crimes when they cannot earn enough panhandling.

 Now when someone is cited for aggressive panhandling instead of putting them in jail get them into mental health.  Give the judge the power to commit them to psychiatric care.  I would rather spend my money getting someone off drugs, into a halfway house, and back on the right road then parking them in jail only to release them to continue their habits.  The aggressive panhandlers who are not mentally ill will realize they do not want to be committed.  Jail is one thing but a mental health facility is another. Fund real programs – create real policies – and maybe citizens would not be creating websites and forums asking for change (maybe not the best choice of words).

Jeff Sanford and the team at the Center City Commission are experts at working to build a strong city.  Unfortunately they are taking the heat for stepping up to do something about the problem.  Why?  Because this solution is a temporary fix to a long term problem.  Budget dollars are precious, that is what my boss always tells me, and I am not allowed to spend any unless I can prove they are going to have an impact. 

Three months of private security is white wash to convince tourist our town is not swarming with smell aggressive vagrants.  Where is our mayor during all of this?  If he would stop handing out raises (one of which would fund this program by the Center City Commission) he might notice that the first thing that visitor to our downtown see coming across the bridge is panhandlers drying their clothes and living behind the Cook Convention Center.

Street-people.com, a memphis based website,  was started almost two years ago to do something about the street people in our city.  After serving as volunteers at soup kitchens, working on fundraisers for shelters, and donating to the parking meters that are supposed to provide programs for the street people we got feed up. 

It seemed our city leaders felt that they had designed pretty posters telling us not to give change to beggars and that was all it was going to take to make the street people problem go away.

Yet it seems to get worse every day.  It got so bad for two downtown cubical slaves that this site was launched to document that the guy you just gave a dollar to while you made a dash to your office to punch in before being considered late, or coming out of a restaurant on your lunch break, is not going to use it to get off the streets.  He is most likely going to use it to buy some substance that will scramble his brain until tomorrow when he can ask you for another dollar.

We hoped a little shame, a little truth, and some outrageous comments would get something to change.  It has to a degree.  The street people team has been featured on local radio and news raising awareness.  Our effort seems to be a clarion call  as news media from around the country has featured stories about our efforts including an interview with our team being named one of the “Top Ten Interviews for 2007” by WAQY radio.  Our site will be featured in Xploited magazine from San Francisco.

 Locally others have joined the effort from bloggers, to reporters, message boards and forums.  Paul Ryburn (http://www.paulryburn.com/blog) has done a great job rallying downtown people to address the issue and his efforts have probably been one of the reasons the Center City Commission got so many calls asking for something to be done. 

A special thanks goes to our Mayor Herenton. We are all so glad that you lead this effort to promote downtown business and tourism in our city by leading the effort!  The again I guess this could be considered your job creation program.  Even in a post this serious you need a little sarcasm.

The Center City Commission is now planning to spend budget dollars to hire a private security firm to combat aggressive panhandling.  Street-people.com applauds the effort to a degree.  We hope this will not be the only effort to address the issue because if you read through our site you will learn that other cities used this technique and all it did was relocate the street people to another part of the city that was not being patrolled.  What our city needs is to combine all the efforts of the social programs, church based efforts, and shelters.  Could it be that the free lunches that churches give to the homeless and the shelters offering a warm place to sleep might just be enabling these people to stay on the street? 

It might be time as a community to rethink how we address this issue because the street people population is made up of a diverse mix of people from those who work but just can’t make ends meet, to substance abusers, to those with mental health issues.  It would seem a better use of budget dollars for all these organizations and our police to start tracking street people; much like the police do gangs, and work to get them into comprehensive social programs with long term impact. 

Still love can warm the heart; make the world a wonderful place, and give you hope that good things are just around the corner.  Thus on this special day where we are supposed to express love we thought a simple expression of love might mean more to those with the least - the street people of our city.  Our team loaded up a shopping cart, because we are dealing with street people , full of Valentine's candy and hit the streets offering a little love from deep in our hearts, our chocolate cream filled hearts.

This bum candy-gram offered a different perspective on the street people that inhabit our city.  Our first stop was HB Hospitality center downtown where the street people had lined up hoping to get out of the cold, have a hot meal and spend the night in a warm bed.  It was interesting to watch as several street people under the influence where turned away.  We handed out some candy to some of the men and women with one street person turning it down.  She pulled out her medical kit to explain that she was diabetic and that a dollar would do her more good than the candy.  Generally, we only give money to street people we are photographing but this was one of the few street people we had ever met that turned something down because it was bad for their health.  I slipped her a dollar. She asked if I had change to cover the tax on a Wendy's $.99 cent hamburger.  If you give a street person an inch, or in this case a dollar, you are going to get hustled.

Our team did meet Howard Steele who has been out looking for a job that will let him use his mind.  It seems that he is trying to get some money together because it is Christmas season and he has gifts that he needs to buy for people.  Let's just hope that he is really planning ahead.  I did not mention that Christmas had passed about 45 days ago.  He had been out looking for a job at one of our city's fine day labor places and did not get picked today.  He shared that he should have been thinking about a career while he was in college.  Howard spent all his time playing basketball for two colleges in town and did not spend any time studying.  He regrets that now, but being a doctor seemed really hard and he just liked playing basketball so much that he spent all his time doing that at school.  He thinks it would be a good plan to get back into college and learn computers or telephone repair and had plans to attend University of Arizona.  It's good to have a goal.  Howard was very happy with his box of chocolate, as he said "it is harder and harder to get those little extras as everything seems to have doubled in price."

Absent a bottle of Tylenol, we presented Esther with a box of chocolates, this really excite her.  She was happy that we had a gift for her and immediately after looking at the box of chocolates asked if we had anything else to give her.  She suggested cigarettes because she really likes to get cigarettes.  Before we could tell her none of our team smoked she suggested a ride in our car because it looked like a nice car and she would really enjoy a ride in the car.  "I bet it's a nice car and warm because it is cold out here and the car would be warm and I would go anywhere you wanted because I would just be happy to ride for a little" commented Esther.   We turned her down on the ride in the car but asked if she had gone to a shelter to stay warm.  She said "no I am trying to find that guy that owes me $600 cash".  Hoping that she intended to use this money to get a place to stay we offered here a few dollars for her picture and her story.  She was very happy for the money and immediately bent over and stuffed the money in her sock. She was quick for someone wrapped in blankets and other unidentifiable pieces of fabric.  Bending over, stuffing the money in her sock, and popping back up to ask us for some quarters took only a fraction of a second.  What is it with street people?  This was twice in one day we offered someone money and they tried to get us to raise the bid.  "Quarters are nice" commented Esther "got any of those?  No?   How about pennies, I like quarters but I would take some pennies."  We had to let her know all we had for her today was chocolates and a few dollars and she responded "Well if this is all you got for me I have to go." 

We said "Goodbye Ms. Hollis stay warm" and she turned around.  She gave us one of those about to go crazy street people looks and then said "That's good, I never told you my last name and you guessed it.  I'm Mrs. Hollis." The she adjusted one of her two jackets and walked off.

 

 

Burger Hungry Bum   Finally, We met Joe.  Hustling change off a highway overpass with a most peculiar sign.   The sign read "Burger Hungry" as if he had been walking along and all of a sudden it hit him that he was hungry for a burger.  No other food would do. He was a hamburger junkie and need a fix of beef, grease and bun.  He was not panhandling money for hamburgers but for that American delicacy itself.  He wanted people to give him hamburgers.  Someone must have given him one because he had ketchup smeared around his mouth.

 

We offered up our Valentine candy and Joe eagerly squealed "Oh, a snack" confirming that he was a food junkie.  He was happy to receive some desert to follow his anticipated burger binge and opened the package of candy while we stood and chatted.  He was even happier to earn money by posing for a photograph.  We made sure we gave him enough so he could get his favorite – double stack with bacon and cheese with extra pickle.  If we could have covered it with chocolate and stuffed it in the box of candy I think he could die a happy street person.

Remember street people are people also, stinky, smelly people who most likely have body lice, but they are people that need love.  On this day when we celebrate love think about those people whose love is a 40oz beer and a dry place to sleep at night.  Then snuggle up to your significant other, commit a carnal act that should never be put on film as a sign of your love and remember this is why you don't chuck it all and live under a bridge because bums never get to do the nasty and then roll over and watch Sportscenter.

Memphis website named to Rock radio station's 2007 Top Ten List

(Springfield, MA) As the days of the calendar become fewer there is a need to summarize the events of the past year. Lists are often the tool used for this task, counting the passing years top grossing movies, richest people, and biggest news stories.   WAQY, Rock 102 in Springfield, Massachusetts decided to create a list of the Top 10 Interviews the comedy team of Bax & O'Brian conducted on their morning show. Their April interview with the creators of the Memphis based website Street-people.com made the list.  All ten honorees for the 2007 Top Ten Bax & O'Brian Interviews will be revealed this week with encore broadcasts of their interview.

The creators of Street-people.com where interviewed on Rock 102 during a trip to New England to promote the site and wrangle up original bum stories from the original colonies.   The tour created an enormous amount of attention as television news crews and newspaper reporters from the region followed the team from the website around for an entire day as they interviewed bums.   "It was an unexpected experience to have that much media attention" commented one of the founders, "I think it showcases the feeling expressed on the site that people feel how we address the problem is not working and they are looking for a process that will be effective."

The creators of the site surmised that Bax & O'Brian picked the interview as one of the top ten of the year because Springfield is having problems dealing with an expanding populations of street people that have brought lawsuits against the city for shutting down shelters.   The interview was peppered with off color comments about bums, their body odor, and the suggestion to give all homeless people in Massachusetts bus tickets to Connecticut thus solving Springfield's and all the other cities in Massachusetts street people problem. "I think the serious nature of the topic mixed with our ability to talk about it in bad taste made for an interesting interview generating responses both positive and negative" commented the creators, "plus we gave them free t-shirts."

The interview will receive an encore presentation in December when Bax & O'Brian present the top interviews of the year.   The interview can be heard by fans of Street-people.com as it is available online at www.rock102.com

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An award for street people?  Why not? There is an award show for every other achievement so why not recognize those that excel as the best residents of our streets.

  Street-people.com was launched a year ago to catalog what appeared to be the never ending influx of panhandlers to our city streets.  Each day a new and varied line up of panhandler asked for change as we emerged from our cars to go to work, hassled us as we ate lunch outside, or hustled us leaving a bar after having a few drinks with friends after work. It seemed that if we gave change yesterday because the panhandler needed money because he was stranded without enough gas to get across the bridge would be back today with a new reason to ask for change and a bottle of whiskey in his pocket.  It was evident that the city organized efforts to stop panhandling are like Pamela Anderson’s breasts after the implants: nice to look at but not real.

We hoped by launching a site that would catalogue our encounters with street people, and track the variety of reasons they use to ask for change at every tourist trap, after work bar and highway off ramp in our city it would expose that some of these people are in need, some will say anything not to work but part you with your hard earned money, and some need a bath. Really, some of these people need to be soaked in water for a week. 

These are not the less fortunate in our society who need free meals from churches, special city funded shelters to stay warm, or the collection of change in our pockets.  Most often these are the sneakiest and most resourceful in our community who are on extended urban camping trips.  Living in public spaces, getting all their needs met by telling elaborate tales parting you with your hard earned change.  This journal would allowed people to get past the stink and see the difference between those in need who are on the streets because of mental illness and those who where just in need of another drink. Maybe exposing that the majority of the street people are just low level con men might encourage all the various charitable and civic programs to pull together into a real process that would get these people off the street so they would leave us alone and stop asking us for a dolla.

  Thus with this in mind it occurred to us to celebrate a year of relaying the stories of street people with a special offering of the best story we heard this year.  We heard some amazing stories that included street people that felt the economics of America just made their quality of life better if they became squatters in abandon buildings and panhandled for change, forgotten music stars in need of beer, and cheating girlfriends who kicked guys out onto the street.  In each case it was often just the question of what mix of excuses would the street person us to justify a life outside that which is socially accepted. Our street person of the year had to be someone whose existence was part of who they are not just an excuse.  Thus we introduce you to Anthony our 2007 Street Person of the Year.

Anthony is no stranger to Street-people.com we had just never been able to capture him on film.  He appears like the lone gunslinger with no name in Clint Eastwood movies at various establishments around town using bum magic to get free food, Starbucks, and a place to live. A construction crew supplied him with a PODS to live in. Anthony never seems to ask anyone for anything just seems to get stuff given to him. It is as if he has mastered the Jedi Mind trick but only as it relates to stuff a street person needs such as a place to store his stuff, free food, and a shower every two weeks.

 

When we first meet Anthony it was at the Petra Café. He walked in during the middle of the lunch rush and they had a take out bag ready and waiting for him.  It seems it was a regular stop for him.  The staff told us his name was Anthony and that he lives in a POD storage unit and walks to visit his sister everyday. He can’t live with her because she has to fly home to New York every night because she lives with Diana Ross.

 

 

A few weeks later the staff at Petra emailed us and told us that maybe they had been wrong about Anthony’s name and his name might be Michael, or Michael Anthony.  Which we really liked because now we knew what the former bassist for Van Halen was doing now that Eddie’s son had been named the official bassist for the band.

 

 

 

 

We continued to see Michael Anthony around at the oddest times.  He would appear on a Sunday morning chowing down on free food given to him by the staff at Schunck’s in their café by the deli, coming out of Starbucks with a coffee, or hanging out by the Fresh Market in sandals and a heavy winter jacket in August.  He was not panhandling. He would just stand there.  I asked him what he was doing and he told me he was standing in the shade of the building waiting for it to cool off.  I told him he was going to be standing till December.  We would chat with Michael but never got a chance to get the full story until recently when we found him on the way to the court house to check on his lawsuit that against the men that are to blame for him living on the street.

 

Michael Anthony “knows what time it is!” How do we know this? He told us repeatedly while we talked with him that he did, “Yes, sir I know what time it is!” he would say to emphasize a point in his tale that transported him from his family in California to the mean streets of Memphis.  It seems we all know Michael Anthony’s family. They make all the little toys that say “Made in China” on them.  Michael was living with his family in California when the toy plant was relocated to China and the family was relocated with the plant. That outsourcing is a BLEEP!  His family makes the ‘Made in China” toys but only the little plastic ones.  Michael elected to stay in California and this was his fatal mistake because once he was left alone the evil force conspired against him to steal his money and leave him in Memphis, TN where no one could capture the culprits.

 

 

Street People love chicken!

It took a lot of convincing, which in Michael’s case takes the shape of a lunch paid for by Street-people.com at Mrs. Winners Fried Chicken, for Michel to tell the complete tale.  I thought it was the fact that we found him in front of the restaurant but it was across the street from the court house where he had been inside to file his claim, which he feels the judge will move on shortly.  It seems that not only is Mrs. Winners a great place for lunch, but it also provides a little know service of storing court documents for homeless people. Michael was not able to retrieve his files at this time. While we had lunch, which was hard to do because Michael had walked to the Mrs. Winners in the September heat with a heavy winter jacket on and was sweating like a Republican Senator doing a George Michael impression generating an aroma that could have defoliated the jungles of Vietnam better than Agent Orange, he showed us where showed they store his court records - in the filing cabinet that you put your tray on after you are done eating.

 

 

While noshing on a biscuit Michael revealed that he had ended up on the streets of Memphis after being kidnapped and robbed.  He had seen who had done it and reported it to the police who had done nothing leaving him only to fight the evil doers in civil court.  Unfortunately, now the kidnapper had all Michael’s money that the family had made from little plastic toys and was using his own money to block him.  

The Cos of Street People?

Who would be so devious and come up with such a cunning plan?  The nefarious team of Bill Cosby and Hulk Hogan, Yes, Bill Cosby masterminded the entire plan and his henchman Hulk Hogan was the enforcer.  They snatch Michael in California, robbed him, and left him in Memphis never to be heard from again.  Now we know how these two criminal amassed such a fortune and it explains the boom in the population of street people in this city.  That kindly Cliff Huxtable is the cause of street people in America. 

 

Hogan Knows Homeless

  We believe Hulk must have used his portion of the proceeds from this dastardly deed to fund “Hogan Knows Best” because that is the only way to explain that piece of TV fecal matter along with his daughter’s singing career.  

 

Michael Anthony told us that he had been inside the courthouse across the street and he thinks something will be done. We looked across the street because we did not notice any courthouse.  “Oh I have been inside and talked to them and they are going to take action”, added Michael while pointing to the white stone building across the street.  I guess any place with a really nice lobby and an American flag is a court house because Michael Anthony has been visiting the offices of BankTennessee to seek legal recourse.  I give him credit for one thing if you are seeking money a bank is a good place to go.  His tale of legal action was emphasized with an “I know what time it is!” in a loud voice to which we replied “We bet you do.”

 

Now we felt that maybe Michael’s tale of abduction at the hands of “The Cos” was a little far fetched until he revealed the last part of the tale.  I asked Michael about his name. First we thought his name was Anthony as this is what the waitress at Petra Café had told us. Now his name is Michael. He said that he did not want to correct the lady at Petra Café because she was so nice but that his name was Michael, Michael Jackson, and Mr. Jackson if you’re nasty.  This revelation brought the reality of the situation into focus. Maybe he really had been kidnapped by Bill Cosby.  This was the real Michael Jackson from The Jackson 5 and he had been kidnapped. His brain erased by the babbling talk that Bill Cosby does in his shows and the Jell-O commercials which is really some sort of hypnotic trance inducing trick he picked up (how else can you explain movies like Ghost Dad) during CIA training and was replaced by an imposter back in the 1980’s.  I mean look at the pictures. 

 

 

 

 Who looks more like Michael Jackson for the Jackson 5? Homeless Michael Jackson or that strange guy that molests little boys?  This would explain the need for the mask and the claims of plastic surgery to cover up this diabolic switch.  Yes my friend one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch.

Still, when you have a story this good, and you believe it and tell it with such conviction all that is left is to know what time it is. It is time to crown Michael Jackson as our street person of the year. Michael posed for us outside Mrs. Winner’s chicken holding his winter jacket, a package of spicy Cajun pork rinds and flashing a big smile.

 

 

To learn more about click here: street-people.com

Michael Jackson?

Jackson 5 Michael

Real Michael

band homeless?